Posted by: Catherine Lugg | November 5, 2015

Too queer for PFLAG

A dear friend just contacted me. It seems her local PFLAG group, for which she was volunteering on their board, decided that she was too queer to belong. In fact, the non-queer folks running the group are really UNCOMFORTABLE with the adult queers who are also part of the group.

So, she has been asked to leave, indirectly. Of course, this has been done in the typical passive aggressive way: “All of the queer adults who come to PFLAG are broken, damaged, ill people who need help, which PFLAG cannot provide, and which makes them inappropriate for board positions. However, the “generous” non-queers opined that. the adult queer “ can serve as a “cautionary tale” for the straight parents who can see what horrors might befall them if they don’t support their kids.”

Right, the “poor tortured queer” meme rides again. And it was AIMED right at my friend.

Yah know, even well-meaning non-queers, can be absolutely toxic, particularly when they dive head first into “respectability politics.” If they think “obviously queer” people set a bad example, I can well imagine how well they understand, care for, and even love their own kids (NOT!)  There’s a long, long, long, LONG way to go before queers are seen as ANYTHING but, “damaged heterosexuals.”


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